You often feel overwhelmed, you are not taking care of yourself, you typically prioritized other people’s needs before your own. You feel a sense of guilt and inadequacy if you are not staying busy and doing things. You may be a workaholic, you focus on doing, and other people’s doing. You are constantly giving advice, even when it is unasked for. You like to tell others what to do and how to do it because you think this is your love language. You don’t know why people either find you annoying or outright create distance / space from you. You are getting tired of keeping up with the image of, “I’m doing great!” You want things a certain way or else you get irritated and you are unable to concentrate until that thing is exactly the way you want it to be. People have told you that you are controlling and pushy. You do your best to fix other people’s problems and when it doesn’t get the outcome you desired, you are disappointed, maybe even resentful. You can be overly critical and negative at times. You have a whirlwind of emotions.
You think you can manage everything and your solution for most things is work harder and do better. You are a high functioning person that accomplishes a lot but you still feel a sense of regret, loss, emptiness regardless of all mission accomplished. You pretend to be fine even though you are breaking apart on the inside. You are embarrassed for having emotions because you believe emotions make you feel weak. You feel like you have to do everything yourself, yet you feel overwhelmed and alone. Someone close has made you feel bad about expressing emotions or feeling sad so you shut down around people. Your self-loathing comes from your need for perfection.
Every Shadow has its twin Spirit: Shadow Integration is the ability to illuminate and bring together both your shadow and your spirit so the power of choice will be returned to you, the soul who chooses.
The Free Spirit is someone who takes life as it comes and accepts all the good and the bad as it comes. The first thing you are aware of is that you are in process. You realize that nobody is meant to be perfect. Even more so, that perfection is not the point. You also believe that other people are also imperfect and you are cultivating an unconditional acceptance of this truth.
You realize that your imperfection requires you to connect and rely on others. You realize that life is about building authentic connection and intimacy among people and not so much about being the best at everything. You no longer have to prove your worth because at your core, you know that you are already worthy as you are right now, in this moment.
You know how to set healthy boundaries around yourself, especially against people who mean you harm and have malicious intent. You know how to guard your heart now. You create a healthy distance between yourself and other people who are not good for your growth. You help when you can, but you also know when to help yourself, with the foreknowledge that taking care of yourself is actually going to serve the world and others better in the long run. You recognize that to be useful in a long term and sustainable way, it is about making small progress and giving yourself grace when you fail. Even though failure affects you and others who don’t come through disappoint you, you have learned how not to take it personally in ways that affect your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love because you know there are many things in this world that are beyond your control. You realize it is not your job to fix everyone, even and especially including yourself. You are able to set healthy boundaries knowing what’s yours and what’s someone else’s. You know how to keep in your lane and how to allow others to stay in their lane without compromising your lane to help another person. You keep yourself accountable to your growth, giving grace to your imperfections while extending that love towards others as well.
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The Perfectionist Starter Kit Includes: 1. Shadow Illumination Journal; 2. Spirit Kit; and 3. Three Complimentary Mirror Darkly Workshops