You feel a perpetual sense of numbness. When you do feel, you get swallowed into the emptiness , and you are secretly terrified of this black hole. Your defense is to shut down, self-isolate, and protect others from your whirlwind of negative emotions. You don’t trust yourself because your emotions come and go and are unpredictable. You feel like you are inadequately prepared to live in this world let alone help another human being survive in this world as well. You are just barely surviving. She has been getting frustrated with herself because she cannot control her mood. You blame yourself for feeling depressed most of the time. You feel so alone, you feel like you have to do it all alone, you don’t trust anyone’s help because you don’t believe anyone’s help could actually help. You see the things happening around you but it almost has no weight, depth, or meaning. It feels almost like an out of body sensation as if you are a third party observer to your own life. You are detached, numb, distant, and disassociated.
The Shadow's Twin Spirit
Every Shadow has its twin Spirit: Shadow Integration is the ability to illuminate and bring together both your shadow and your spirit so the power of choice will be returned to you, the soul who chooses.
The Independent Spirit
The Love Within Spirit is someone who sources the spirit within for deeper meaning, revelation, and truths. You hunger for truth. You hunger for depth. You hunger for meaning. You believe that there is a Divine Purpose in this process you are going through, whether good or bad, happy or sad, up or down. You believe in integras, which is the concept of light and shadow as all encompassing, integrated, whole, the full authenticity of the human experience. You realize that to become a butterfly, you must first go through the internal fire of transformation in the cocoon, in privacy, in divine intimacy, in order for you to source a deeper kind of power that evolves through a divine connection. You know the practicality of meditation, the power of stillness, the discipline of loving oneself as first priority. You are awakening to showing up for the present moment—always the present moment, because you realize that the only control you have is how you perceive the present moment. This becomes your grounding. This becomes your root. You are so in tune with the root because you realize that the deeper the roots the more lush, plush, and brilliant the fruits. You trust in Universal Timing by aligning your will with Universe’s will on its divine timing of when and where to bear your fruits. You know intuitively that it starts with the roots.
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